Are you a Mommy Blogger? Please share your blog with our community...we love to hear what mommies have to say. Share you insights and promote your blog. http://www.echoage.com/forum/list.php?6 Thu, 09 Sep 2010 10:54:40 -0400 Phorum 5.2.7 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,331,331#msg-331 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,331,331#msg-331
The way I see it, there are a few friendship fizzling high risk situations:

1) You become a mama: Many report that their friendships with single/childless girlfriends suffer. Mama feels they don’t understand why she doesn’t want to ditch the kid to go dancing every weekend. This has not actually been my experience. My single friends have shown extreme interest and understanding when it comes to my kids. And I am equally keen to hear their Sex in the City lifestyle stories.

2) You have a child with a disability: Hate to say it, but mamas of kids with disabilities get ditched. I’ll explain why it happens in the autism world: you have a friend who brings her 3-year-old over for weekly playdates. Her kid can’t talk, has meltdowns for “no reason”, maybe he’s a bit aggressive, doesn’t relate to the other kids there and his behaviour is disruptive. The mama host thinks “Hmmm…this playdate would go much more smoothly if that kid with the problems doesn’t come”. The playdate invitations stop.

3) You constantly bail on plans: When you regularly drop out of social plans at the last minute, eventually your friends will stop inviting you. I generally don’t accept invitations in the first place because of my bailing stats. But, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate receiving a low pressure “turn up if you can swing it” invitation. It makes me feel that I have not been forgotten, and also that there is some understanding about my situation.

4) You become a Mama of Many: Right around the birth of your fourth child, families you normally socialize with suddenly stop inviting you over. Who can blame them – your family takes up their whole house.

How have your friendships survived? What are the biggest friendship hurdles you’ve encountered in your mama life? Are you still close with the friends you had pre-kids, or did you shake it up socially when you hit the mama scene?]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 30 Aug 2010 16:39:09 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,330,330#msg-330 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,330,330#msg-330
As a blogger, I’ve had several non-bloggers ask me many questions – from how to get started to why I like to blog. The answers are long and wordy, but a few quick points include:

1) If you’re going to blog, blog about something you love. If you are not passionate about what you do, it’s going to, well…suck.
2) Don’t go into it for the money. While bloggers often receive products to review, free diapers and diaper cream won’t pay the mortgage. The money *may* follow if you have enough readers that advertisers will pay to be on your site – but counting on that happening is probably not the best plan.
3) Know your limits. If you’re going to talk about your kids, have a big think about privacy before you get started. It’s one thing to talk about toilet training but if your tween catches wind that you’ve been blogging about her training bra, you’ll be in the doghouse faster than you can say “Justin Bieber”.
4) Blogging creates one heck of an awesome journal. I feel like my kids will have great fun in a few years looking back at their childhood through my eyes.
5) Blogging gives you a spectacular feeling of being heard. It is powerful.

So if you’ve been thinking about starting a blog, what is stopping you? I’m hoping to see you at BlogHer in San Diego next year, because there are many lessons to be learned at BlogHer. The biggest for me this time around was that even with a shocking case of laryngitis, I still have a voice.]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 16 Aug 2010 13:46:51 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,328,328#msg-328 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,328,328#msg-328
The kiddos feel very connected with Oscar Mario – they send him letters and art work, and anxiously await his response. When they are all behaving like spoiled brats, I remind them of Oscar Mario and his life, and they humbly retreat back into humans I am proud to have birthed.

Last year for Oscar Mario’s birthday, our family sent off a package with stickers, cards and Mabel’s Labels. Some months later, it was returned unopened. I did what every good mother does – hid it from the kids and forged a letter of thanks from Oscar Mario.

I had been meaning to reach out to the agency to investigate the returned package. But our monthly donation continued to be withdrawn so I assumed everything was fine. Of course, following up on the package ended up at the bottom of my “to-do” list – tied in last place with about 20 other items.

Last month I got a letter saying we have a new sponsored child because Oscar Mario cannot be located. Not be located?! I started flipping out wondering how he just fell off the radar. Upon investigation, it seems that families commonly relocate without notifying the agency. So my next question was about where my money was ending up if my kid had gone MIA. I was told it went to his community. I do remember signing on and reading something briefly about how the money is distributed locally – I think the sponsored kid thing is more of a sales tactic.

It’s a sales tactic that worked very well on us. I’m pretty sad about losing Oscar Mario. For two years, we’ve been looking at his adorable picture on our fridge. He’s been my “go-to guy” when the kiddos need to be reminded about how privileged they are.

I have actually been putting off telling the kids about our now long lost friend. I’m torn between the truth (that he’s gone!) and telling them that his family won the lottery and Oscar Mario is busy managing his house staff in between private school tutorials and cello lessons. Suggestions welcomed.]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 19 Jul 2010 12:19:03 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,327,327#msg-327 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,327,327#msg-327
I was dumbfounded. Flabbergasted. All those great words that describe that shock 'n awe feeling...

According to the most recent studies, having kids makes you unhappy. I'm paraphrasing of course, but when I read this, I wanted to refute it at every word. I'm deliriously happy. Except when I'm not. And staying home and being there for my children is completely fulfilling...

OK. Not really. But....How did they know??

I did prefer washing up the dinner to bathing my kids. And of course I'd rather bake something real then pretend cook fake food. Stacking blocks, fitting shapes into holes, doing the simplest of puzzles....No, no and no thank you.

Sure, I could get into playing - I'd build something kinda cool, only to watch one of my guys gleefully knock it down. I loved when my boys helped me with my mini-business in the kitchen. As long as they understood I was totally and utterly in charge and they followed by every direction. Not so fun for them, tho' raw dough is always a good incentive.

Yes, I confess: I hate the park. Ditto Sportball and other kiddie programs, watching Teletoon, and bro-on-bro (-on-bro) wrestling. We joke that it's Rated M for Mother. because this mother can't stand to look.But the park? Stresses me out. Either I'm standing still in the sun, repetitively pushing swings or, even worse, watching my 2-year old clamber up structures much taller than me - with several ill-spaced openings, perfect for falling from. That gut instinct that tells you not to walk off an edge? My son doesn't have it. Or maybe he does but finds it hilarious seeing me try to figure out which side of said climber he has the least chance of tumbling from. It's quite a dance we do. I envied my friends whose kids preferred the sandpit. They'd sit for hours and yeah, emerge filthy, dumping sand all over the floor, but my boys did that sans sand. And at least my friends got to shmooze with the other moms in the park. As one person pointed out: that's not the point. You're supposed to shmooze with your kids.

Oh.

A lot of my female friends have confessed to not being very good at (ie not really enjoying)"playing". Maybe because quite often, they've got other things to do (dinner, laundry, sorting through old clothes). One friend of mine told me the best day she ever had with her kids at the park was the day she figured she'd let them eat cereal for dinner.

Maybe it's a girl thing. My Man loves to play with our boys. Maybe they have too much access to me or maybe (gulp) he's just more fun. Apparently I'm more "talk-y". Not sure how to take that.

The article mentions the "golden age" of child-rearing: when the kids are 6-12. Babies and toddlers are hard, and teenagers are worse. Our guys are 2, 5 and 7. I fear we'll never be in that golden age. When my youngest turns 6, my oldest will be 12. Little kids, little problems and all that...

Either way, we're right in thick of it. There's a lot of "drudgery". A lot of "chores". And a lot of counting to 3 (and wondering what you'll do if you reach the magic number and your kid doesn't care). And yet, when my very busy baby starts singing "Imma Be", complete with fist-pumping, I howl. And when my not-so-compliant middle guy joins me on my errands - he doesn't like to miss a thing - he slays me with love and laughter (cliches be damned) every time. And when my super-sensitive eldest and I went to NYC, just the two of us, there was nothing better. It was like a honeymoon of sorts - but with my kid.

I feel like the "unhappiness" comes less from the kids and more from the loss of freedom that parenting brings. Same thing? Perhaps. Freedom is a luxury that I for one definitely took for granted. Going out wherever, whenever is no longer an option. Thinking solely of myself is impossible. Not because I'm the perfect wife and mother, but because it's literally impossible. There's always someone who needs something, somehow, somewhere. Or I get tired. Or distracted. But appreciating it now - is that about parenting? Or just growing up?

The grass is always, always greener. But seeing so many of my own "bad thoughts" put onto paper was quite gratifying. And enlightening. Therapeutic even.

But fleeting.

If you have a chance, grab NY Mag and head for the toilet. And don't forget to lock the door.

For those for whom this is impossible: check it out on-line:

[nymag.com]

www.motherofallmavens.blogspot.com]]> Carolyn Brilliant Bloggers Thu, 15 Jul 2010 15:00:49 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,323,323#msg-323 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,323,323#msg-323
But I digress....This is the annual book list. The really good flicks start making their way into our air conditioned theatres tomorrow, so, without further ado, you asked for it, you got it:

The Mother of all Mavens Summer Reads List

The Children's Book - A.S. Byatt
This is a big, meaty, sprawl of a book. It follows the lives of a famous writer and each of her children, their friends and families. Starting out in Victorian England, and finishing up at the end of the First World War, reading this baby was like watching the most exquisite period film and hoping it won't end. This novel is brilliantly written, and not just because I am biased towards AS Byatt. I've loved her since Possession (which you should also read) and read everything she's written. This one is totally accessible - and devastating. Not necessarily a beach read, but fantastic. Break out the tissues.

The Slap - Christos Tsiolkas
I was hooked from the very start. At a BBQ in Australia a man slaps a child who isn't his. And thus it begins. After the proverbial shrimp on the barbie, the incident is seen through various eyes, intertwining stories and characters while painting a spectacular portrait of life in the Melbourne suburbs. Modern families, domestic life, identifiable characters and yet....totally sex, drugs and rock 'n roll. I couldn't put this one down - you won't either. AWESOME.

The Help - Kathryn Stockett
Is there anyone out there who HASN'T read this book yet? What are you waiting for? The film? Good books almost always outclass and outlast their oft feeble adaptations (unlike the cheesy books which make for FABULOUS flicks)....Set in 1962 Mississippi, we've got a university graduate ahead of her time who tells the stories of, well, the segregated town's Help: the nannies, babysitters, and maids. Compelling, brave, awesome. It's been in softcover for months now, so no more excuses. Grab it and start. You won't be able to put this one down.

Stieg Larsson Trilogy

What? How could I do a summer reading list without these books on it? Blockbusters to be sure - but with good reason. All of Sweden can't be wrong, right? The rest of the world obviously agrees. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. The Girl Who Played With Fire. The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest. Potboilers. Kick-ass female lead. They are NOT flawless - the late novelist would probably have a lot to answer for, putting his magnificent Lisbeth Slander through such gruelling, violent and downright deviant experiences. His details made me a little squeamish, for both the content itself and the dichotomy of the strong female lead stacked up against such gross brutality. Did he need to go that far? Is it twisted porn in some ways? Who knows? They're terrific reads and quick quick quick, ensuring you have lots of time to finish them before you see all the Swedish flicks (no. 2 out next week) or the American remakes. My fave was the second book. What's yours?

One Day - David Nicholls
Full disclosure: I haven't finished this one yet. While I was in London one of my favourite people raved about it, foisted it upon me, and promised I'd love it. I saved it for the plane, but then got all caught up in the third and final Larsson book. Meanwhile, my man scooped me, read it in a matter of days while I read magazines, waiting. He loved it too. And suddenly - this book is everywhere. Or at least seems to be (Helloooooo EW). It's about two people who meet on the night of their college graduation. We follow their lives, chapter after chapter, each one depicting the same day, but one year later. I couldn't wait. I wanted to love it, live it, breathe it. And.... I didn't like it. The characters bored me. They felt cliched and earnest, annoying and indulgent (especially The Girl). AT FIRST. And then, last night, Emma and Dex (said characters) turned 30. And I turned into a fan. A huge fan. Total 360. Gripped?! I am gripped.

Gotta go. Must finish my book.

ENJOY!!

motherofallmavens.blogspot.com]]> Carolyn Brilliant Bloggers Thu, 08 Jul 2010 22:54:06 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,322,322#msg-322 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,322,322#msg-322
But there are bigger things that I don’t remember – the things that I did before I had kids.

What did I do in the evenings? What did I start questioning at 4:00pm every day if not “What am I going to feed them?” To remove that daily dilemma from my brain space would leave quite a gap. Along with “feeding time at the zoo”, my evenings consist of organizing homework, packing school lunches and shuttling people to sports and dance classes. If not doing that, what would I be doing? I just can’t remember. Maybe I watched the 6:00pm news. Maybe I had a hobby. Whatever it was, it’s long gone from my immediate memory.

Waking up naturally because my body has had enough sleep.
Actually, I can’t even remember what it’s like to wake up to the sound of an alarm clock. I vaguely remember that sensation of a Saturday morning sleep- in, dozing in and out of lazy slumber, eventually crawling out of bed when it suited me. Yeah, vaguely.

Eating in a civilized fashion.
I can’t remember what it’s like to sit down and eat an entire plate of food without having to get up half a dozen times. What is it like to sit around a table enjoying food and chatter without springing up regularly to fetch things and cut up food on other people’s plates? I’ve been to dinner parties and left without actually having had dinner myself. And I’m told food is normally served hot. Imagine that – it’s actually HOT when served! By the time I get to my food, “hot” would not be a suitable description.

But from what all the weathered mamas tell me, these busy mama days go too quickly and before you know it, they too will become vague memories. So I think for the moment I’ll just clutch onto my cold dinners and hectic evenings for as long as I possibly can.]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 05 Jul 2010 14:56:10 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,317,317#msg-317 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,317,317#msg-317
Daddy-o came home from work the other day and joined us all in the backyard. I went inside and started puttering around when suddenly I heard the panicked words of Daddy-o: “oh man….don’t move buddy, just stay right there.” I looked out the window to see my 13-month-old teetering half way up the wooden deck steps looking like he was about to take a step down. Daddy-o was running, but it was too late. Through the window, as if in slow motion, I watched my baby fall down the steps onto the cement patio.

Two initial reactions:
1) I was sick about the big bump on our baby’s head.
2) I was annoyed that Daddy-o thought it was somehow OK to take his eyes off our busy 13-month-old for even a second.

I have a friend who is married to an “absent-minded professor” type. You know how sometimes you’ll put your coffee on the roof of the car while you get in, and then drive away forgetting all about it? When my friend was expecting her first baby, it occurred to her that it would be entirely within the realm of possibility for her husband to do that with a baby in a bucket car seat. She sat her husband down and told him that if he was careless and it resulted in an injured baby, she would never, ever forgive him. She felt bad threatening him with their marriage before the baby was even born, but his absent-mindedness knew no limits. It worked – they have four kids who have survived babyhood.

Daddy-o claims he was just a bit rusty – it has been a couple of years since we had a tippy toddler. It’s easy to forget how quickly they move and we all know that these falls can happen right under our noses. But clearly, he took his eyes of the baby long enough for baby to get across the yard and up the steps. So what is a mama to do? We don’t want to nag our husbands about their supervision skills, but we need to have confidence that our kids are safe.

What is your experience? Does the Daddy-o around your house have good instincts or are you always a little nervous when he’s alone with the kiddos? Have you effectively communicated your concerns, or does he feel like you’re a nag?

In short, do you trust your husband with your babies?]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 21 Jun 2010 12:03:24 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,314,314#msg-314 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,314,314#msg-314
That is my disclaimer. If you’re curious about what common and harmless things you are saying that make my ears bleed, here goes:

1) “All I want is a healthy baby.”
I get that. It makes sense to me – health is the most important gift we can ask for. But, bring out my psycho sidekick self and you want to know what it hears? It hears that the very last thing you want is a child like mine. I know that’s not really what’s being said, but it’s what the little friend in my head is hearing!

2) “Your son was born to you because you are strong and can handle it.”
I understand and appreciate this is a compliment, but in those early and difficult days when I was digesting an autism diagnosis, I wanted to scream “So let me get this straight – I’m rewarded for being a competent parent by having a kid with autism?!” My rational self knows you are encouraging me but that little crazy me is turning red, stamping feet and yelling “it’s not FAIR” better than any 4-year-old you’ve encountered.

3) “He’s lucky to have you.”
The thing is, I’m lucky to have him. When I hear how fortunate he is to have me, it makes me feel like you see him as a burden. Please remember, I feel like I picked a four-leaf clover on the morning of his birth.

So next time you say something completely innocent, and I start frothing at the mouth and growling, you’ll know that it’s a simple case of mama bear gone mad.]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 07 Jun 2010 13:12:29 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,308,308#msg-308 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,308,308#msg-308
Mornings around our house are always hectic. The other day, my five-year-old woke up excited that the long awaited kindergarten trip to the fire station had arrived. The best part – I was going along as a classroom volunteer. She is a real mama’s girl, so that was a pretty big deal in her little world.

This particular kid is a bit of a fashionista. By dumb luck, our kids ended up in a public school that has uniforms. As such, there is no real discussion about what kids are going to wear to school. However, my fashionista girl regularly express opinions about shoes, sweaters and coats.

On the day of the school trip, the morning was madness. I had to get the kindergarten kid and the three biggies out the door. The baby was screaming for breakfast and the pre-schooler had to get dressed for nursery school. I was under pressure for time since I had to get myself organized in order to be at school on time for the field trip. I handed my kindergarten kid her sweater with instructions to put it on and head out the door for the bus. She started fussing, complaining and carrying on about not wanting that sweater. I snapped. Out of my mouth came something that stopped her in her tracks. I said “If I get any fuss about this, I will not be going to the fire station”. She looked startled and quickly put the sweater on.

I consider that statement to be a perfect example of lazy parenting. Did I really just threaten to take away something so special to her – spending time with me? Did I really just serve up a threat I would not have followed up on? Yep and yep.

Half an hour later I was driving to the school with tears streaming down my face. When I arrived, my daughter’s little face lit up. I gave her a hug and told her I was sorry about the sweater incident and that I wouldn’t have missed the school trip for anything. She laughed and said “I know, mama!”

I’ve still got a lump in my throat as I type this, but I’m trying to remind myself that if my dear, sweet five-year-old can forgive me, maybe it’s time to forgive myself.]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Thu, 27 May 2010 13:44:24 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,307,307#msg-307 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,307,307#msg-307
Now, many years later, and the mother of a toddler, I have realized that my daughter has given me a gift much greater than the love I anticipated from her arrival but also with new reason and direction for myself that was unexpected.

Being a parent is by far one of the toughest jobs I have ever experienced. And, being a full-time working mom adds even more to this juggling act. Thus, with Sarah’s health and well-being at the center of it all it took me time to realize the possibility of much more for myself when my plate was already so very full.

In July 2009 after trying to move a chair from my living room to another room, on my own, after Sarah climbed on it one too many times, my life was indeed forever changed. I know this sounds ridiculous. After dropping this very large chair on my foot and thankfully not breaking my foot, I did; however, endure a really bad sprain that led me to rely on crutches for a couple of weeks with much rest in between.

During this time I had to stay as much off my foot and spent much of this time on the couch working on my laptop, and discovering another new journey I was about to explore that was completely unknown to me.

Despite not being able to get to my front door without my crutches, this journey would take me farther than I would have imagined many more feet away from what I thought could be possible.

After Sarah was born during the winter season, I spent much of my time indoors with her during the early part of my maternity leave on the Internet reviewing parenting blogs, researching parenting topics, buying online, etc. It was too cold to take Sarah outside. So, while she slept much during the day I spent a fair bit of time educating myself on what was being communicated online.

As a result, a new idea and vision for the future was established. It wasn’t; however, until July 2009, well over a year after Sarah’s birth, that I was able to make this goal a reality. With a great interest and desire to write, and help from my husband, an amazing technology expert, my blog Mommy’s Point of View (www.mommyspointofview.com) came to life.

In addition to continuing my full-time career in addition to parenting, it was then that I began to chronicle my life as a mom, for fun and in my spare time, sharing parenting tips, advice, ideas, woes and more, to moms all over the world. My goal was to get started and to see how it would go. And off it went.

This blog has been an extraordinary experience into a world of the unknown. It’s been cathartic, self-deprecating and rewarding all at the same time given me strength in ways I didn’t necessarily know I had both personally and professionally.

Most parents would say that having their children is life-changing. This is indeed very true of my experience as well. Further, the birth of my daughter also brought an incredible opportunity of growth for me, one that I didn’t see at first and one that has enabled me to explore unchartered territory.

Being at the helm of Mommy’s Point of View, breathing life into something unfamiliar, fun, exhilarating and experimental has enabled me to see myself in ways I didn’t before, be honest with who I am as a person and especially as a parent. Sometimes I get it right. Sometimes I don’t. Sarah’s role in my life has been two-fold. She has changed me forever because she is my child and I will do for her in ways that any good parent would. Her presence in my life has also empowered me to find a new voice and ways to use it to help others, while also helping myself.

Becoming a mother has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. My journey as a blogger, and hopefully future writer, is a dream and one I am thrilled to be embarking upon and parlaying my professional knowledge and expertise with my novice experience as a parent.

My life has been transformed since having Sarah. Not only has she given me new purpose but she has helped me to find new direction for myself as well. My message here to you is recognize not only the beauty in what life brings us with our children but also the paths we may walk, crawl and climb to new discovery thanks to their role in our lives. Like our children, as mothers and adults, we too need to continue to learn and grow and thrive.

I thank my daughter for this incredible life lesson and opportunity, and for this new voice she has helped me to find. I just hope that I am able to be the parent she needs and to help her on her life’s journeys including the good and bad, and be there to support her, as best as I can, every step of the way.

For more thoughts, tips, advice and perspective on parenting come by and visit me at Mommy's Point of View -- www.mommyspointofview.com

Thanks,
Caren Begun
Mommy's Point of View
www.mommyspointofview.com]]> Caren Begun Brilliant Bloggers Sun, 16 May 2010 21:20:13 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,305,305#msg-305 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,305,305#msg-305 1. No take out dinners. When you think about it, part of the joy of not having to cook, is not having to clean up. Take the whole family out for a change and enjoy being served.
2. Bring my own mug. If I don’t have my own mug, I’ll just have to stay at the café and enjoy some quiet time. If you know you are staying in advance, let the server know, they’ll often default to disposable cups unless told otherwise.
3. Litterless Lunches. Start big, go small. This is my mantra when it comes to kids lunches. I buy big yogurts and re-distribute into smaller re-usable containers, same with apple sauce. Many dinners can be sent for lunch tomorrow, so make more at dinner and pack up leftovers in a thermos tomorrow.
4. Clean water is good. Really good. Everyone should drink more tap water. We are so lucky to have clean drinkable tap water, lets enjoy it and use it, but not waste it.
5. Flick Off. That’s right, flick off, turn out the lights, turn off the power bar and go to bed knowing there are no costly vampires sucking the energy out of your home.
And last but not least…

Keep thinking green thoughts.]]> Roz Heintzman Brilliant Bloggers Wed, 28 Apr 2010 14:38:49 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,304,304#msg-304 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,304,304#msg-304 blog recently about the value of saying “No” to kids. The gist was:

1) Your kids will be fine if they don’t get what they want all the time.
2) If you’re going to say “No” then be sure to follow through – unless you like to lead the double life of parent and white noise machine.

I just discovered another good time to say “No”– when it comes to buying them nice things. Ya know why? Because they don’t care.

Months ago, in spite of my no pet policy, my cheeky friend promised the kids a fish. She arrived at the house with a tank and all the fishy trimings. We negotiated that a fish could join us only after we moved into the new house in March.

March arrived and we moved into the new house. It is just lovely – big enough to suit our family, sitting on a quiet court and backing onto fields and ravines. The kids’ days are full of road hockey, catching tadpoles, chasing deer and trampolining. Soon summer will be here and they’ll be passing their days basking in the pool, enjoying all the water fun summer has to offer.

On moving day, the kiddos had all been shipped off to various locations. When they arrived home to their beautiful new house that evening, they screamed in unison:
“Did we get the fish??”

Daddy-o and I looked at each other, rolled our eyes and thought: we just bought a new house, and all they care about is that stupid fish!

And that is not the end of it. I had decided (OK, my bank account decided) that we would not be buying new furniture for the house. I made one little exception. With the three girls sharing a room, I thought it would be nice to ditch the garage sale beds they had been using, and replace them with three new little beds with fresh and fun bedding. They excitedly picked out the beds that were being used by the athletes in Olympic village.

You can imagine my frustration when I go into their room at night only to find one sleeping on a pile of blankets on the floor and another sans sheets.

So if you are the kind of mama who worries about your kids doing without stuff, I think you can stop. Just go buy them a fish and let them to sleep on the floor. Clearly, that is all they need.]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 26 Apr 2010 11:38:00 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,301,301#msg-301 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,301,301#msg-301
I am fortunate to have the kinds of friends who are always remembering these things. Last week when we were expecting some important health news about one of our kids, I received many e-mails and phone calls from people who remembered that we were expecting this news and they were hoping everything was okay. I never remember things like that. I have a sister-in-law who always remembers to send me great, thoughtful thank-you notes for every gift we have ever given anyone in her family. Usually I remember to write a good ol’ thank you note for gifts or kindnesses received, but sometimes time passes and I simply don’t do it. I have a fun loving friend with exquisite taste who lives in NYC and every year she gets me some glorious piece of clothing to celebrate my birthday. Once in a while I find the perfect gift for someone and I’ll buy and save it for a birthday present, but I miss more birthdays than I remember.

Lately, I have felt that I am not keeping up with the giving back part of this process. I feel I am a really good friend when everything is going well for people -I am great at keeping a positive energy going. I worry that I am not good at providing the important support when friends are in need. I’ll cook a meal for a family going through a hard time, but I’m never the person organizing those meals. I’ll visit people when they are sick, but I never think of checking in every day. One of my closest friends called me every day when my son was hospitalized – just to check in and see how everyone was doing. This same friend has had health issues and I always forget to ask how she is doing when I call her.

I realize as I write this that it’s a matter of being more thoughtful. Are there tips on being more thoughtful or is it just an inherent gift?

In the meantime, thank you to my friends and family who never cease to amaze me with never ending thoughtfulness and kindnesses.]]> Roz Heintzman Brilliant Bloggers Sat, 17 Apr 2010 11:40:33 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,299,299#msg-299 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,299,299#msg-299
So I managed to get some cred and kudos for doing pretty much nothing.

The e-mail included information about how many eggs to stuff per kid in your family, what area of the park to hide the eggs in (based on kiddo ages) and what time to have it done so that we would be ready to start on time. Oh, I also told egg hiders to bring plastic bags with them in case they came across some dog poop or other park treasures.

That’s it. That is me organizing the egg hunt. Note what I didn’t do:
- I didn’t stuff eggs for kids in the neighbourhood;
- I didn’t hide eggs for kids in the neighbourhood;
- I didn’t go and clean up the dog poop in the park before the egg hunt.

Surprisingly, with all that I didn’t do, I still got a handful of e-mails from highly appreciative mamas. They all mentioned how remarkable it was that with six kids and a business I could find time to organize the egg hunt. I reminded them that forwarding the e-mail from last year took me about 15 seconds. Regardless, these appreciative mamas unanimously came back with “Well, someone had to send it out – so thank-you!”

Perhaps a case can be made for the old expression: “if you want to get something done, ask a busy person to do it”. Maybe all of us busy folks have just figured out the real trick – don’t just make it look easy, make it easy!]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 12 Apr 2010 15:08:47 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,284,284#msg-284 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,284,284#msg-284
Since I’m not a big foodie type, I didn’t think I’d have much to contribute to the conversation. My kids eat well, but I’m not a health nut and don’t spend hours in the kitchen creating beautiful meals for my family. In short, my kids have not had a Twinkie-free existence and occasionally they have had frozen meatballs for dinner – still frozen. Two nights in a row.

But as the chit-chat went on and people were exchanging stories about weird food their kids love and delicious food their kids hate, I discovered I did have some interesting things to say. I made some valuable contributions including:

- One kid of mine has a favourite snack that is horribly embarrassing to admit. In fact, when I tell people what it is, they throw up a little in their mouths. My kid loves hot dogs but in the form of a cold wiener straight from the fridge. Just gagged while writing that.

- Another kid loves avocado with a squeeze of lemon. I don’t think I had avocado until I was about 30-years-old. In my humble upbringing, we would have called avacados “fancy food”!

- My kids and all of their cousins have the same favourite fruit called “sour apple”. It is sliced apple in a bowl, drenched in lemon juice.

- The one food I can serve up that each kid will eat without complaint is pesto on pasta. Now, it’s interesting to note that they actually make the pesto. They plant the basil in the backyard and when pesto making day is upon us, they pick the basil and go shopping for the other ingredients. This begs the question – is there a connection between kids being involved in their food and liking their food?

A strange food fact about me also made its way into the conversation, leaving people shocked and horrified. What is this shocking food news? I’ve never had a milkshake. Ever. Not once in my 39 years of life.

So go on – what creepy, weird food does your kid like? Or, have you reached the age of 40 and never tried sushi or tasted kiwi fruit? The best thing that came out of this whole Twitter party food chat is all the milkshakes I’ve had promised to me in the last few days!]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 29 Mar 2010 14:07:43 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,281,281#msg-281 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,281,281#msg-281
To all of you who commented with moving advice on my blog post over at www.thebabymachine.com – if I could reach through this computer screen and give you a big squeezy hug, I would. I owe you my sanity. What those comments confirmed was that if you want the very best advice – go straight to the mamas.

There is no question, the move day was a monster – 13 hours of non-stop action, cardboard boxes galore and the odd dropping of the F-bomb. But we survived it, largely because I implemented what you told me to!

Here are a few of the gems that blog readers provided:

- GET MOVERS. I did that and even got them to pack up the house for me. There was one stressful thing about this – I wasn’t prepared for them. I needed to do a “pack for the packers”, much like you do the “clean for the cleaners” the night before the house gets cleaned. Because I didn’t prepare for them, I was unwrapping empty yoghurt containers in the boxes marked “basement office” when we got to the new house. I would have liked to avoid that, but not this time around. Having said that, this move would have been impossible without movers;

- Farm out the kids. Check;

- Keep drawers taped in the dressers and move them that way;

- Don’t take clothes in closets off hangers. Use the closet moving boxes;

- Have kids pack up their own desks and decorate the boxes. It makes them feel involved and gives them a sense of ownership and responsibility;

- Keep all special items (loveys, blankies, etc) and necessities (toilet paper and toothbrushes) IN THE CAR so as not to get lost in transition;

- Make the beds FIRST, so that when exhausted at end of day, at least people can crash in bed;

- Make the kitchen an unpacking priority;

- Label all boxes very clearly;

- Keep perspective – you will survive and it’s only STUFF! Your home is about the PEOPLE;

- If you cannot be there to direct the movers to the right rooms, colour code each room in the new house and colour code the boxes. Colour code furniture too;

- Use numbers to prioritize boxes – 1 means open now, 2 means later, 3 means no rush.

I’m still taking life one box at a time, but it’s done. We did it. And I don’t know how I would have done it without you.]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:03:51 -0400 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,277,277#msg-277 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,277,277#msg-277
My nephew is a natural athlete. Quite frankly, if it wasn’t hockey, it would have been something else. He is not the athlete that has parents breathing down his neck every step of the way, telling him he has to be the best. Since he started playing hockey he would get himself up out of bed to go to the early practices. He is quite particular about how his gear fits so he’s been getting ready on his own since the early days. On top of all this he is a good kid, no arrogance, no temper tantrums and no hissy fits on the ice. He puts his head down and plays the game with all the confidence of a good athlete.

Being the parent of an excellent athlete, while exhilarating and exciting comes with challenges that keep my brother and his wife questioning their situation all the time. My nephew has 2 siblings, both of whom are also excellent athletes and regularly needing drives to various sporting events. Quality family time becomes scarce when scheduling around hockey tournaments. Most holidays are booked last minute after a surprise (and sometimes welcome) early loss in a March Break tournament. Summer camps and cottage time while still a priority, are losing their footage to power skating and hockey camps.

My brother and his wife are excellent parents of three lovely kids. They know they get slotted into the category of “obsessed hockey parents” but they really aren’t. They are trying to nurture a passion while providing a balance. My brother was a beautiful soccer player growing up, one of the best in the city, but he was only ever given the opportunity to play high school soccer and sometimes he wishes he was given the chance to take it further. Now, when he and his wife see their son with similar talent and passion they have decided to see where he goes with it. He’ll miss practices for birthdays and other family events, they’ll even let their son play other sports at the risk of sending an injured player onto the ice. Will my nephew make it to the NHL? Statistically, probably not, but he has been given the opportunity to give his very best to something he is passionate about and that is something he’ll forever benefit from.]]> Roz Heintzman Brilliant Bloggers Sat, 06 Mar 2010 17:25:34 -0500 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,274,274#msg-274 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,274,274#msg-274
1) I fake that I like food.
Don’t get me wrong – I like food, but not the way most people seem to. For example, I would never in a million years cook myself something to eat. You see, the work involved is not worth the result. I’m quite happy having a bowl of cereal for dinner. But, I feel like I have to be a good food role model for my kids. So, I may tell them that I had a soup and salad for lunch, when in reality it may have been a Kit Kat.

2) I fake that I was good at math in school.
When someone asks a math trivia question, I have an easy out. I just say I don’t know because I suck at math. It recently occurred to me that I don’t want my kids to hear me say that. Why? Because it’s an excuse not to try. Accepting how much I suck at math has somehow given me a free pass from having to do anything mathematical. I don’t want my kids thinking they can have free passes. Not yet. They don’t think they suck at anything and I’d like to keep it that way.

3) I fake that I think the Olympics are super exciting.
Other than some recent hockey excitement, I generally don’t get all that jazzed about the Olympics. My total watching time included only one period of one hockey game. Even if I was terribly interested in the Games, I’m not sure where I’d find the time to commit to watching them. I mistakenly told the kids they could stay up for the Opening Ceremony without knowing anything about the start time being a full hour after bedtime. Regardless, I mustered up some fake excitement, got out the craft supplies, dressed in the appropriate colours and cheered the kiddos on as they created a medal count chart and drew some flags to hang around the house. Certainly watching them get all excited helped out where I was lacking.

One day my kids will realize that they have a mother who will call chocolate lunch, is mathematically challenged and athletically uninspired. But that day does not have to be today. What are your dirty little mama secrets?]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 01 Mar 2010 12:14:38 -0500 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,269,269#msg-269 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,269,269#msg-269
From all accounts, it was not easy in those early years. The doctors made grim predictions about Joan’s future based on what they thought her IQ was. Grandma once threw a social worker out of her house for suggesting that Joan should be removed from the family and raised elsewhere.

She was the seventh born in a big Irish family and everyone rallied around their baby Joan, sharing feeding responsibilities and surrounding her with love and support. Joan was a part of that family and although it was a family forever changed, from their enlightened perspective, they were better for it. To this very day she lives with my grandparents who are in their mid-nineties.

Joan is a remarkable person. Embraced by a supportive school and staff, she has spent the last 25 years working as a classroom helper in a centre for children with special needs and who are medically fragile. Joan has a special place at Mabel’s Labels as well. She helps out when brochures need to be stickered, she decorates posters and cards for special events and contributes her famous brownies for staff functions. Most of all, she is our biggest fan. If you’ve ever been on a city bus and had the woman next to you ask if you have Mabel’s Labels, chances are it was Aunt Joan. She hands out her Mabel’s Labels business card to anyone and everyone – a business card which appropriately lists her job title as “Superstar”.

To get the full picture of the positive impact Joan has on those around her, let me tell you how her 50th birthday was celebrated:

- The school board threw a surprise party for her. 50 staff members and retired staff were in attendance to celebrate;
- Our family had a surprise dance party/open house. More people than I could count were in attendance;
- Of those people at the dance party, a ridiculous number of us were wearing t-shirts featuring Joan’s picture and the words ‘Joan is a Superstar’;
- Even the babies in the family got involved. They all wore custom-made shirts that said “Great-Aunt Joan is a Superstar”.

I know when we all have babies we want them to be perfect in every way. However, Joan has taught me that sometimes it’s only when they are not “perfect” that they are able to become Superstars.]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Wed, 17 Feb 2010 22:09:31 -0500 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,266,266#msg-266 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,266,266#msg-266
As a Montessori parent (and early student) I should know the right answer. One of the principles of Montessori is self-corrective learning. By letting the young kids learn with materials that let them fail before they succeed, the kids acquire a better understanding of why and how things work. If a teacher stands in front of a classroom and says “Do this exercise this way because it is the best and easiest way”, the child misses out on the real lesson; how the teacher figured out that this is the best way to do the exercise. A self corrected child learned the right way by making mistakes and figuring out what works and what doesn’t. This knowledge doesn’t make letting my kids fail any easier, but it gives me strength in my decision making process.

Watching J.K. Rowling speak about the "Fringe Benefits of Failure" inspired for different reasons. For Rowling, failure was the state of poverty she had found herself in after the break-up of her first marriage. She was a single mom, with a job at Amnesty International and was, as she put “as poor as you could be without being homeless.” She felt like a failure at rock bottom, slowly stripping away all the things that were not important to her and leaving only those things that mattered. This put her in the position of being able to choose her path and do only what she felt was important, raise her daughter and write her book. Perhaps if she had not hit rock bottom, she would never have felt the need to get to her typewriter and write. She would still be working in an office and the unfinished chapters of Harry Potter would be sitting on her living room floor. Not everyone escapes “rock bottom” with as much success and fanfare as J.K. Rowling, on the other hand, failure gave her the opportunity to succeed.

Now, back to the big question. What to do about our kids and failure? Rowling’s parents (who were of limited resources themselves) repeatedly encouraged Rowling to ditch her writing interests and study subjects that might give her a financially secure future. They were right on so many levels of course – most writers don’t succeed the way Rowling did. She was lucky, but had she followed her parents’ suggestions, that mid-to-high level, good paying office job would seem a bit dry to someone by now. Sometimes kids need to be left alone. You won’t always agree with their decision, but as Montessori tells us, we learn better through experience. Sometimes kids need to fail to be better. Sometimes they’ll even fail twice. And sometimes you’ll need to step in to prevent further failures, but part of growing up is knowing how to make the right decisions. If we never give our kids the opportunity to fail, we might be failing them as parents.]]> Roz Heintzman Brilliant Bloggers Tue, 02 Feb 2010 20:16:13 -0500 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,264,264#msg-264 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,264,264#msg-264
I am happy to report that I am doing great! OK, it might have something to do with the fact that I don’t really do resolutions. My theory is that I suffer enough. So, while I’m raising small kiddos, I get a resolution “free pass”. Do we mamas really need extra stress and self induced pressure?

I get that everyone wants to be healthy and lose a few pounds. I’ve got a postcard on our fridge that has an illustration of a goddess woman, with the words “Can you pinch an inch? Do you give a shit?” It’s just a reminder that maybe mamas need to cut ourselves a bit of slack – a few pounds and an extra inch or two is a small price to pay for getting to grow humans in our bodies.

Rather than putting pressure on myself this year, I am relieving myself of it. I have two examples:

1) My photo dilemma: I had five years worth of unprinted photos hanging around my neck like an albatross. I finally admitted that there was no time in the foreseeable future that I could dedicate to this project, and it was only getting bigger with each photo taken. A quick Facebook status update asking if anyone was up for a project put an end to my photo woes. Project has now been completely outsourced. The weight that has been lifted from my shoulders is indescribable.

2) The next outsource came in the shape of a teenaged homework helper who has a 95% average in French Immersion. My son’s FI was causing me an incredible amount of stress. My lack of French rendered me useless – throw in the fact that I don’t really get Gr. 5 Science either and I was a complete waste of space. Now, three times a week my angel teenager relieves me of that aggravation. My son does well on his homework, understands the material and I am no longer pulling my hair out every evening.

Outsourcing these little projects certainly ends up costing a mama a few bucks, but I am a strong believer that at whatever cost, you can’t put a price on mama’s sanity!]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:20:55 -0500 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,262,262#msg-262 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,262,262#msg-262
Thanks for pointing me to Echo age Alision, I will be passing this along to everyone I know who has a kid! What a fantastic way to celebrate!!!!

Jessica Tinkler]]> Jessica Tinkler Brilliant Bloggers Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:44:26 -0500 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,261,261#msg-261 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,261,261#msg-261
'Tis the question.....

When I was a little kid I had showstoppers. Crazy eyes. Big, blue and beautiful. As I grew older, they got greener. Still my best feature - or so I thought. Yet, with each blue-eyed baby I birthed I'd hear it over and over: where did they get those eyes? I'd open up big and doe-like and pretend I didn't understand the question. Because I kinda didn't. Hellooo?!? Green eyed lady, ocean lady???

How could this be??? Bodies come and go and stretch and shrink....but eyes? The windows to the soul? I owned eyes. They were my parts. The ones. IT.

Or were they?

Apparently, it was time for maaaaaaake-up. I'd never worn make-up. Looked like a tranny - or a granny. Specifically, my friend G's granny who was known for her baby blue... eyelids. That said, they kinda worked for her. For me? Erm....no.

I'm just not a make-up person. Products? Yes. Potions, lotions, tonics and tinctures? Yes, yes, yes, and yes. But now that tans are verboten, the wrinkles are creepin' in, and my eyes have apparently turned to mud, I knew the time had come.

First stop was the eyelash lady for extensions.

Two hours and $200 later I looked like Carol Channing. Crazy, right? But they were a gift. One that kept on giving because they all fell off after 4 days. Correction: they all fell off of ONE EYE after four days. Hello Clockwork Orange!!

Luckily, I have a couple of make-up artists as pals and they, together with the lovely and talented Katie at Laura Mercier, sent me in the right direction...I soon found salvation in a handful of tubes, bottles and palettes. And if I, who hail from the Crayola School of Makeup, can apply, so my friends, can you. Here goes:

Step One: Primer. Laura Mercier Primer.

I still don't know what this is or how it works. All's I DO know is that a little shmear of this topped with a couple o'dots of Origins "Sunny Disposition" and you've got a mini face lift. Whether you thought you needed one or not. Looks awesome. Smooth, glowing skin.

Step Two: Concealer. Nars Concealer.

As I said, Crayola School of Macquillage. Which is why this concealer, in a little lipstick tube, works every time. No fuss, no muss, no f&ck ups. Whether you're over-forty or just over-tired, there's really no excuse for not using this. Even on the weekends.

Step Three: Invisible Eyeliner. Laura Mercier Again.

This stuff is the coolest. Looks like a small pot of dried up paint. Add a few drops of water, swirl with your handy eyeliner brush and apply UNDER the upper lid. Sounds weird. Looks great. This is where the magic happens, ladies and Lamberts. Once you get the hang of it, this stuff doesn't come off - ever. But in a good way.

Step Four: Mascara. Any kind, any time.

Of course you can keep on keeping on. Blush, lids, liners, and lips. But I can't. The tranny thing. Plus, after so many years of living au naturel I was loath to commit to a daily regimen. And I'd hate to go to bed as one woman and wake up as another... Trippy and kinky as that may sound, the only thing less appealing than morning breath is morning face.

Laura Mercier Primer: $40
Nars Concealer: $22
"Invisible" Eyeliner and brush: $50

Looking like a million bucks having only spent $122 plus tax: Priceless.]]> Carolyn Brilliant Bloggers Thu, 28 Jan 2010 14:49:46 -0500 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,258,258#msg-258 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,258,258#msg-258
One kid didn’t hold the bus buddy’s hand on the way to the bus stop the other day. She stepped onto the road but jumped back quickly when a driver honked. I spent the rest of the day feeling like I was going to puke.

The very next day, I left baby alone rolling around on the floor to put something in the garbage. When I returned 10 seconds later he seemed to be doing something weird with his mouth. After some serious fishing, I pulled out the remnants of an old balloon. Gasp. I don’t even know where it came from. And here I thought I left him in a safe place.

So in my world, I had a couple of near disasters, though I find it a bit weird using that word in light of Haiti.

I didn’t want to hide Haiti from my big kids. We went on the Internet and heard political leaders speak about the tragedy and watched some Haiti footage. I even told them about all the deaths. I know they will have an answer to the question “Where were you when you heard about the earthquake in Haiti?”

It was a teachable moment and if I played my cards right, they would experience appropriate empathy and feel empowered to help without being totally traumatized. We made a family plan about how we, as a family, were going to response to this tragedy. Our plan included a donation made by me and the Daddy-o. In exchange, the kids had to decide what they were going to give up so that we would have the funds available. It was important to me that they had to do without so that we could give. In addition, each child contributed all of their “donate” money. Each week the biggies get allowance and it is divided between their “spend”, “save” and “donate” piggy banks.

It all ended in tears (by me) when my 10-year-old son asked if he could be a rescue worker and go over the Haiti to help out. Maybe one day.

Did you tell your kids? How much information did you share? Do you worry about protecting them from such news? Does your family plan to help in any way? Please share!]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 18 Jan 2010 11:25:54 -0500 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,250,250#msg-250 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,250,250#msg-250
Once on the treadmill, I press the start button and the treadmill starts moving very slowly. So, I press the speed up button 3, then 4 then 3 more (ish) times and suddenly it is going alot faster...too fast and my mom screams at me to slow it down (she is in her bathing suit and barefeet). I am not fast enough and
suddenly my mom is down, but still holding on to the support bars up
top (picture an old lady being washed out to sea while still holding
onto the bars). The treadmill carpet is still moving and my mom is holding on for dear life while her daughter (me) is laughing so hard she can barely
move. I decide to wrap my arms around my mom's upper body and try to
pull her off the treadmill, but she won't let go of the bars and the
two of us are laughing so hard we can't take control of the situation.
Luckily, my daughter takes charge and turns off the machine. The four of us sat there and laughed and laughed and laughed. Unfortunately, when my mom finally stood up she had really cut her lower legs in many places, she was bleeding everywhere (another fairly funny site – even for my mom) so we toweled her up and snuck back to the hotel room. I have not laughed that hard in a long time. I know it sounds cruel, but it was very funny. I just wish the hotel had a video of the whole thing so you could laugh about it with me.
Sad about her legs, but the memory will be with the four of us forever.]]> Roz Heintzman Brilliant Bloggers Fri, 08 Jan 2010 11:55:38 -0500 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,242,242#msg-242 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,242,242#msg-242
At 7:30pm I couldn’t take it anymore and made the trip down to the hospital. Before getting admitted, they put us in the trauma room to get him on some oxygen and begin other treatments.

I was sitting there holding a ventolin mask over his screaming face, telling myself that the situation sucked. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself, and a lot sorry for my baby boy. It was no way for my little man to spend his first Christmas, thought I.

Then I had a quick reality check. The guy on the other side of the curtain, who seemed to be getting treatment for pain of sorts, started speaking:

Guy: “Nurse? I kinda feel like killing myself”

Nurse: “Hmmm, what are you thinking about doing?”

Guy: “I dunno, maybe cut my wrists, find a gun or take some pills”

Nurse: “Do you have a gun?”

Guy: “No”

Nurse: “OK, we can have a chat with the Doctor about all this”

I looked down at my wheezing boy and thought about the guy on the other side of the curtain. What was his first Christmas like? How would his mother feel if, on his first Christmas, she knew that in about 40 more years he’d feel like killing himself on Christmas Day?

I gave my baby boy an extra squeezy hug and decided my Christmas didn’t suck after all.]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 28 Dec 2009 10:42:05 -0500 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,241,241#msg-241 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,241,241#msg-241
Being such a chesty baby, both his sleep and mine have been pretty dodgy over the last few months. Baby’s breathing antics paired with the shenanigans of some of his finer siblings has seen my usual 5-6 hours of sleep a night dwindle to the 3-4 hour mark. It’s not much, but we all know that mama steps up to the plate when she has to, and we can’t underestimate the power of a bit of adrenaline.

Last Saturday night Daddy-o announced that I was to go to bed, shut the door and have a night of uninterrupted sleep. He was volunteering for night duty – sleeping elsewhere and ready to respond to each and every night-time disturbance.

Imagine my shock (OK, pretend shock) when at 4:00am Daddy-o comes bursting through the bedroom door. He was all disheveled with red eyes and crazy hair. He looked as though he’d been sleeping in the wilderness for days. Out of his mouth came the words we mamas have often felt but rarely said: “I can’t do it anymore! Help me!”

Uh dude, you know I do this every day, right?

Since I had already had more sleep than I’m used to and was feeling as fresh as a spring morning, I let him off the hook. He settled into bed feeling all defeated and in awe of me.

I’ve got some mama friends who are exceptional at making milk. I’ve got other mama friends who are incredibly skilled at tricking their kids into eating veggies. It would seem my specialty is getting by on very little sleep. It is a talent that serves me better than any musical or artistic genius would. So what are you good at? Can you predict and intercept a toddler fall before it happens? Perhaps you breastfeed, dress a toddler and get ready for work all at the same time? Do you have some ridiculous mama talent that in any other circles would not exactly count as “talent”?

Picture of SIL and business partner, Julie Ellis, teaching me the ropes. She has survived parenting two chesty babies.]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 21 Dec 2009 10:50:38 -0500 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,240,240#msg-240 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,240,240#msg-240 My brother sent me these two Christmas Shopping Parables:

Parable 1
Jimmy loves to play with blocks and Lego, but after seeing the ads for the $150.00 Roboraptor he pleads with his Mom to buy it. Being the 'hot' toy of the season, she spends two weeks searching and finally ends up driving to Buffalo. He plays with it for 20 minutes on Christmas Day. For the next year it sits on his shelf gathering dust. The next Christmas she buys him popsicle sticks and a glue gun.
Lesson: Fulfill need not want.
Parable 2

The parents of two young boys decide they will spoil them a little this Christmas. At the end of Christmas morning the two kids are almost buried in books and toys and clothes and hockey equipment. They spend the rest of the day happily sword fighting with the cardboard tubes leftover from the wrapping paper.

Lesson: Less is more.

For those of us who spend this time of year giving and receiving gifts, it takes a certain amount of self control to not let things get out of hand. Usually it is not until after all the presents have been opened, after all the money has been spent that we realize, we have gone a little bit overboard...again. When we are out there in the stores, looking for all the perfect gifts for our kids, we forget that they will be receiving gifts from others too, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, special friends, the list is endless.
After opening too many gifts, a child feels overwhelmed and loses track of who gave what gift and who needs to be thanked. To put things into perspective, giving a child so many new, amazing things in such a short time is comparable to a buffet of food at your favorite restaurant. You held back at breakfast and lunch to enjoy the buffet, but by the time you leave the buffet the only thing you feel is sick and sad for overindulging. Similarly, a child on Christmas morning is really just wanting to explore and spend time with the first couple of toys that he opens, anything more than that is overwhelming. For the younger kids, think about holding gifts back to be opened on the days following Christmas.
If you are going somewhere special for the holidays - that is a gift for everyone. It’s important for kids to appreciate that the expensive holiday is the major Christmas gift this year, limit additional gifts to just one gift from Santa. Your gift to your kids is the trip. Trust me, the wonderful memories from that family holiday will be with your children forever, that is the best gift you can give them.
If you are staying home this year, when opening presents, take your time, let the morning linger. Let your excited child open her stocking when she first gets up, but have her wait until everyone is up before the gifts under the tree get opened. Once the kids start to get over stimulated (you know they do), suggest a breakfast break for all. They spend all year waiting for this day to come, make it last long enough for everyone to really enjoy it.
For those of us in this fortunate position of being able to give too much to our kids, it is important to show some restraint for Christmas is not about getting or giving the “best present ever” it is about love, family, kindness and good spirit. Make this your “best Christmas ever” by giving the gift of less.
]]> Roz Heintzman Brilliant Bloggers Thu, 17 Dec 2009 10:54:11 -0500 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,239,239#msg-239 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,239,239#msg-239
A Dozen Reasons Why I am Thankful for Being a Mom

I am thankful for being a mom of the sweetest little thing I ever had: my daughter.

… for kissing my flaws thinking that I am perfect;
… for needing my arms as she lays to sleep;
… for laughing while she’s crying as I transform into a tickle monster or make some silly jokes;
… for being happy with little things we share;
… for testing the level of my sanity when her endless tantrum begins;
… for reminding me that the daily routines we do together are actually different, and each day I learn from it;

Read the other half dozen here. Don't forget to share yours:)]]> BLR Graham Graham Brilliant Bloggers Tue, 15 Dec 2009 10:46:00 -0500 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,238,238#msg-238 http://www.echoage.com/forum/read.php?6,238,238#msg-238
1) Dressing your kids like idiots. Yes, I dressed my daughter in a Santa suit dress for her violin recital. Why? Because I can.

2) Elf Yourself – really, we can spend hours doing this using different combinations of family members. Go on, have a look: [elfyourself.jibjab.com]

3) ‘Tis the season to throw all parenting rules out the window. The notion of Santa watching for good behaviour is really just a combination of bribery and empty threats.
Bribery: “If you are good, Santa will bring you presents.”
Empty Threats: “If you are naughty Santa won’t bring you presents”.
Yeah right, I know some pretty naughty kids who have never woken up to lumps of coal in their stockings.

So go on, take advantage of your bad parenting free pass and be sure to engage in what at any other time of year would be considered cheesy behaviour. I’m enjoying every minute of it!]]> Julie Cole Brilliant Bloggers Mon, 14 Dec 2009 12:07:59 -0500